How do I brake a freight train?

I am approaching my sixth anniversary of derby.  The claws are deeper than ever before.  But this moment is my one chance to normalize, become a human again.  Do my laundry in a timely fashion.  Face the world unbruised.  Write the words that need to be written.  But all I can think of is the floor of the rink, empty and waiting and the thousands of improvements that need to be made prior to next year to be the skater I want to be.  I miss my team, disassembled into components and inserted into new positions in other machines.

I am looking for a sort of spiritual transcendence.  But the secret is, I have never come closer to it than slamming down to the floor on wheels.

It’s time to finish other unfinished things.  And maybe let my body heal a little bit too.  I’ll attempt to be a slacker, in order to pick up the slack I’ve left in every other corner.

1:46 pm  •  16 October 2011  •  View comments

Things I have lost recently:

A teammate.

A love story.

A helmet.

An idea.

A tiger shirt.

A bout.

Weight.

Words.

Breath.

Time.

1:15 am  •  26 July 2011  •  View comments

I always thought I would live:

And maybe some day these will all be true.  But it looks like in a month I will be living:

Now I have to learn how to decorate or somesuch. Lest you think I am not domestic, I cannot wait to get back to cooking and baking.  I just have a low threshold for paint chips, especially since all the ones I like are some form of gray.

4:20 pm  •  30 April 2011  •  View comments

I went to the Botanical Garden to get my me on.  I had lots of deep, penetrating thoughts about the life cycle.  Also about how I’m certain I’d rather be a tree than a flower. And, sure, samurai sword fighting.

Ladies and gentleman, getting older isn’t scary at all.  Being able to wander the grounds of some place like the garden on a day when most others in the city were preoccupied with a certain national pastime, all by my lonesome and without any purpose but breathing—this is getting older. And it is simply brilliant.

11:35 pm  •  31 March 2011  •  1 note  •  View comments

2011

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